Sunday, December 14, 2008

Carolyn is "home"

I was finally able to steal internet from my neighbor (2wire647). After a long and harrowing experience on the fucking train... I am home. My god, the train. I wrote for a little bit on my Mac on the train when I had nothing else to do; it was the point where I had hit critical mass and realized just how much I hated my life:

Oh my god….
Here, I am. On the train. 12:20 p.m. December 12th 2008. And I still have eight more fucking hours to go. I have never endured anything so painful in my entire life (and I’ve been through a lot of shit in my life). I have also never hated my life more than I do right now. My God! Riding the train for almost 25+ hours already is a like a test from God. A fucking Kenyan runs faster than this piece of shit. I was stuck in Oregon forever. I hate my life.
I have never had more awkward/absurd moments squished together than I did on this piece of shit mode of transportation. My first neighbor was a friendly guy from Eugene, Oregon who was only visiting Seattle for a weekend. We had nice chat. He and I. Vry nice. I approved of him. I was very apologetic about my coughing fits, and he understood and told me not to worry about it. You will go places, nice boy from Oregon. My next neighbor that we picked up in Klamath Falls (haha, Christina – oh, I’ve heard stories of what you did here…) was an international Japanese man. I definitely did not approve of this idiot. He was most certainly not an Akiyoshi type! Most ANNOYING fucker I’ve ever come across. Mind you, this was around 6 p.m. last night, and I was trying to sleep. He comes in, with his stupid carry-on baggage, wakes me the fuck up, asks me if that was his seat, sits down, whips out his stupid neck pillows and his stupid face mask, then he falls asleep on my shoulder! My god! My fucking god. I got so furious! I angrily push his head off my shoulder! He wakes up! He apologizes profusely! THEN HE DOES IT AGAIN! I really don’t have anything to do but to type out a list of complaints on my Mac right now. I’m just so angry. SO FUCKING ANGRY CAROLYN MAD.
The worst experience so far was when I went down to the dining car last night for dinner. Traveling alone sucks – esp. when you are stuck in the most hickville backwaters part of Oregon and you are a small little Asian girl. I was waiting to be seated, and the fucking waitress asked if I would be eating alone, and I said yes, so she fucking places me herself in front of the most questionable large, scurly Mexican man I’ve ever met. Now, I’m not racist (maybe a little), but hell woman, I am from SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. We know a questionable Mexican man when we see one! I had no choice but to slowly lower myself in front of said questionable Mexican man. My god, that was the most I’ve ever been eye-raped before. But this time was different, he was eating an herb-roasted chicken and drinking iced tea while eye-raping me hungrily. There I was, eating my congealed crab cakes, trying my damnest to avoid looking him in the eye, and there he was, his eating pattern progressively getting messier and faster, and he would NOT look away. I eventually got so uncomfortable, I didn’t finish my congealed salad and crab cakes and just got up and left.
The train is so much more different than the plane. First of all, definitely no security at all. Second, more room to walk around. Third, the scourges of the earth take the train. And fourth, to get to the fucking bathroom, it’s like walking to Mordor.
Fuck. My batteries are running out. That’s just great. My ipod is dead, my mac is out, and my cell phone is dead (BECAUSE SOMEONE WANTED TO CHARGE THEIR CELL PHONE LAST NIGHT *AUBREY*)

hahahha reading back on this moment when I was angrily listening to TV on the Radio and writing this when everyone was sleeping - I remember just how much I wanted to kill.

Anyway, home is home. Nothing too fabulous. I did however miss my bed. I am so sick of sleeping off a twin sized mattress that fell off a truck that I do not appreciate queen sized beds with a righteous comforter and an actual bed frame. It's fucking amazing.
Yesterday, my grandmother comes into my room, hands me a mini travel mirror and hairbrush, and she says "Merry Christmas!". I have no idea what the hell she meant with that. I already got a fucking haircut - so, really, you old bat, I don't look half bad anymore (is that what she was implying at??? I can never tell with this senile old woman.)
My mother has also commented on my appearance. When she was sorting out my laundry, she takes out my favorite button down shirt and she murmurs to herself. I hear her say a slander about it, so I ask her to repeat herself. She looks up, gives me a wary look and says, "Carolyn, why do you dress so dirty? Is this another one of your "second-hand" store purchases?"
I told her that her face was second hand.
Food once again is a concern among the Huynh household. Since I do not have George anymore, I can no longer whip out to In N Out and purchase a cheeseburger. My mother asked me how I was going to eat for the next few weeks. I almost punched her. She tells me we always have pho. So I can eat pho every single day for the next two weeks. I told her I would rather shove a fatty sewer rat up my butt 3x a day than eat pho three time a day for two weeks.
Christina and Thyvu came over yesterday and decided to haul me along with them to go run errands. I half-heartedly agreed - only because I really did have nothing else to do, and I like hanging with their nasty ass faces.

I really don't have anything else to write about. Christina told me she's stopped reading my blog because I complain too much (hahah!); but then again she's been hearing me complain since 2003. Nothing's changed. I guess I'll stop complaining so much (but what would I talk about?).

It's good to be home. I think.

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