Thursday, November 20, 2008

Dear Stupid People of the World

I hate your fucking guts. You people... no, you are too stupid to be even categorized in the human race, you're just idiots, THE WHOLE LOT OF YOU.

WHEN YOU SEE A CAR ON THE ROAD, AN AVERAGE PERSON DOES NOT RUN ACROSS THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING ROAD THINKING THEY CAN BEAT A FUCKING CAR TO THE PUNCH. NO! NO!!!! THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. ESPECIALLY WHEN THAT PERSON AKA ME IS GOING PAST THE FUCKING SPEED LIMIT. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? DO YOU COMPREHEND??? SEATTLE, Y'ALLS FUCKIN' CRAZY. THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME I'VE ALMOST KILLED A PERSON SINCE I BEGAN DRIVING IN SEATTLE.

YOU MAKE GEORGE SO SAD. GEORGE IS A LITTLE TOYOTA YARIS THAT IS AS ANXIOUS AND PARANOID AS HIS OWNER. YOU FUCKING IDIOTS GIVE US SUCH HEART ATTACKS!!!!!! UGH.

ALSO, to whoever decided to FUCKING box me in this morning. I swear to god. I swear to fucking god, I'm going to find out who you are. This isn't LA for fuck's sake. how dare you park within 30 feet of the fucking stop sign? WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

I need a fucking cigarette. I hate people. People fucking disgust me.

I will beat you about the fucking face and the groin till you have no more life pulse in you. I will also eat your fucking babies and smash your goddamn faces into jelly. Do you understand this much?

Do NOT fuck with George. I am NOT opposed to just running you the fuck over instead of slamming on the breaks and jolting forward and banging my head on the fucking wheel. The only reason why I have braked is so I don't have to deal with the insurance company - you're goddamn lucky I don't want my rate to go up again. You should fucking thank that police cunt of an office that pulled me over and gave me a $500 ticket. I fucking hate you and I fucking hate Tacoma.



Your Pal,
Carolyn K. Huynh


P.S. vry excited bout the twilight premiere tonight.

1 comment:

kelsey. said...

Dude. Seattle sucks balls to drive in. Big hairyass goat balls. Why'd you bring your car? You were only asking for trouble. I hope to hell George isn't a stick.

I'm one of those jaywalkers in Seattle, I admit it. But I challenge the stoplights with my intelligence. I know waaaaay better than to run out in front of speeding asians. Promise.