Friday, November 21, 2008

Dear Twilighters

Oh Jesus fucking Christ. Let me just preface this by saying that the twilight movie was amazing. Don't get me wrong, it was COMPLETE shit. ABSOLUTELY horrible. But it was so funny. I could not contain my laughter at all during the entire movie. Aubrey was worse than me though. Oh GOD it was BRILLIANT. I am on such a high right now. I am cracking open a Corona right now (sry Cherlaine, I'm drinkin' yo beer), and talking over the fucking brilliant scenes in Twilight. We are definitely going back, but this time, we're bringing alcohol... and Alex Casper (hahah!). Every time Edward Cullen smiles his crooked smile.. we have to take a shot. A shot of BEER. Oh fuck, I am kinda drunk right now. Hella funny. It was haella funny. fuck fuck fuck, I'm shitfaced because I my grammar and spellin is a bit off. apologies. apologies all around.

Okay, I am in a really good mood right now. I plan on drinking till 8:15 - when my class starts aand show up shitfaced and drunk as hell. I hella fucking skipped today. Slept right through my 8:15 and central class and just plain skippd out on psych. Cherlaine wasn't going to go , so I sure as hell wasn't. God, I'm so inartcculate right now. package deal mofuckers.

The thing that was so sad, was all the fuckin single girls in the crowd and the older women. so sad. so desperate. GOD i hope I'm not like that. OR END UP LIKE THAT. jesuschrist.

Aubrey is getting another beer for me. hahaha.

aw shit. we have having an intense talk about traveling right now. We really want to go to Europe this summer, and bring my bffl, Christina with us. Christina is amazing. she really is. she's such a free-spirit. Christina, if you are reading this, I will go with you to the middle east and beyond. Aubrey and I want to travel with you so much; you'd be the best fucking person to travel with. All we really need is a backpack, a couch, and alcohol. Ya dig? Can't wait to see you, homegirl.

God, I'm a blubbering drunk fool.

I just want to get the hell out of here. Aubrey is such a freespirit. I wouldn't say I am so much a freespirit, but I definitely do NOT say no to anything. I will do anything I deem is utterly stupid. I skinnydipped in Canada with her and I half-skinnydipped with her at Volcano park in the fountain. I sure as hell will take off my clothes with her in Europe and beyond. Christina is amazing. she called me one afternoon, told me to pack my bags, and within a few hours we were off on a road trip to san francisco. we went to the park, I played my dulcimer, and she sang Joni Mitchell. Do you see how awesome the people I know are?? DO YOU??

so shitfaced, I am. I have about five more hours to go before my class starts. i REALY need to go. it's been too long since I've gone. fuck you hardxcore, core classes. I really don't give a fuck. I REALLY don't care if it takes me 5 years to graduate, you are absolutely unnecsssary in my life.

Christina is the instigator. she really is. I have lived vicariously through her for far too long. she is the one with the plan, I am her sheep. aubrey has pledged her allegience to her as well - though she has never met her. I tell her all the great stories about her and she too, is in love with her. So, Christina Hughghes, Hughges, Hughes, fuck sorry too drunk to spell your name right, we will follow you throughout the world having crazy adventures. both of the drunk and sober variety. hopefully, more of the drunk variety.

I am feeling really good right now. I can't explain this feeling. I was feeling really sad earlier, but now, after seeing how silly the world really is, and having a good drunken conversation with a really good friend, Ive realized that beauty is subjective. I will always find beauty in everything. I just hope that one day, this naive feeling I have deep within myself. this sick perservering hope that I carry with me, in my heart, will one day help me out. I hope to fall hopelessly in love one day. this earthquake shattering mind blowing feeling and emotionssa that make me feel real. you make me feel real. you want to know why I keep eating those goddamn vietnamese sandwiches? it's because I carry that sick hope with me everywhere - I hope that whenever I eat it, it won't hurt me. is this a good or a bad thing? it's really up to you to decide.

I am on literally on a drunken rant. this is a hellva of a long blog. if you hav ekept up with my crazy rant by now, then kudos. pats on the back.

I ahve hope. such, sickening hope, that it'll be alright. everything, I mean. I am a fool. a complete fuck up. but you know what? that's alright. at least I'm not a 50 year old woman wearing a twilight shirt and crying over robert pattinson. I'm doing pretty well for a nineteen year old. I have grandiose plasn which i will follow through on. I want to go to prague. Oh god, how I want to go to prague so badly. and greece. italy, tibet, india.... I want to help, volunteer, I want to do the fucking best I can in this fucked up crazy world I live in.

I can be better. I know I can. As much as a drunken fool as I am, I have two hands, two feet, two eyes, two ears, and one heart. That's enough, right? Please, tell me it is.

This blog has absolutely NO direction. I originaly want ed to talk abotu Twilight but, notw that the alcohol has hit me. I am lost. I am a completely lost soul. As ella so elqouently put it, I am lost with an apathetic elan.

Forgive me for being such a sorry excuse for a human being. I'll make it up one day, I promise. I may not end up doing anything great with my life, nor will I cure cancer. But, I'll try m fucking best to save everyone, one by one, as best as I can.

your Pal,a
scarolyn ahyuynh


that bitch. said...

go read my latest post. it's all about you.

if the first post you see is about my drunken night, that means the video hasn't uploaded yet, so check back later.


ella said...

i cannot wait. when are you guys going again?