Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Dear Seattle

You've been good to me this summer so far. It's a shame I have to leave you when I get on that plane tonight - just when everything was going swimmingly well.

A woman's life is built on a history of affections. I am proud to say that I was in love once; despite the end result. For the past few months I was going through bouts of depression with Fleetwood Mac as company in the background. The loss of anyone that has deeply affected your life is a shame that brings such sorrow. (And no, I am not talking about a boy.)

There is a deep emotional connection among women. That is why I love them. They cry more easily, they get upset, they become self-conscious, and when they love - they goddamn love. There is an intrinsic understanding among all of us that the art of becoming a woman comes with genuine heartache sometimes - whether it is given to us from a man or one of our one.

I am humbled and honored to be among such great women that have taught me well in the verses of affection. I like the word affection. Always have. It's on the same level as 'exhausted'. 'Exhausted' and 'Affection' are both great words. These girls are not just another carbon-copy of Sex and the City. It has become more than that these past few months, and I will miss them dearly.

Someone once told me I would make a great feminist. I hardly believe that.
I just simply don't avert my eyes anymore in a man's world. I am a woman by birth. (Ani DiFranco)

I hope that within the next month, I am able to revamp my fallen spirituality. I hope to rid myself of apathy and never again succumb to the evil traps of my bed and the glory that is instant NetFlix. I hope that when I come back, I am a stronger, well traveled and more educated Asian-American woman. To be given the chance to discover yourself as well as America is a rare and beautiful occurrence. Of course self-discovery can also be seen as bullshit coming from someone in their early 20s' (not even yet) but who honestly gives a shit?

The midwest is foreign to me, as I am to it.






I wish everyone in Seattle fair winds and following seas. I will see all of you in a month and regale you with stories of my tomfoolery in dirty-jazz Chicago bars all the way to the wide open fields of Wisconsin.


-Carolyn

4 comments:

nankurunaisa said...

i really love what you wrote. i'll miss you!!!! and we should hang out more.

ella ordona said...

sex and the city girls? pssh. wayward for life.

Ed said...

happy birthday.

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