Sunday, April 26, 2009

Top 3 All time most Memorable Breakups

"My desert island, all-time, top-five most memorable breakups, in chronological order, are as follows: Alison Ashmore; Penny Hardwick; Jackie Alden; Charlie Nicholson; and Sarah Kendrew. Those were the ones that really hurt. Can you see your name on that list, Laura? Maybe you'd sneak into the top ten. But there's just no room for you in the top five, sorry. Those places are reserved for the kind of humiliation and heartbreak you're just not capable of delivering."
-High Fidelity, Rob

Hey guess what, you just sneaked into the number one spot. Congratulations, you just gave me the kind of humiliation and heartbreak that deserves the title of #1. But that's okay. I had a good day today and last night was more than good. Hiatus is over - I am content (no sarcasm).

I look forward to this week and the future. I have figured out the living situations for next year and have renewed my interest in alcohol (in a purely non-alcoholic-help me-forget-my-misery kinda interest). We are getting a dog next year courtesy of Alex Casper. A goddamn corgi. I fucking love corgis.

These past few weeks have been unbearable. A loss of faith, dignity, about 15 pounds, backstabbing.. the whole Hollywood rom-com formula. But guess what? Everything works out in the end. You are immature and I will probably never forgive you. But here comes the part where I rise from the ashes, the climax of the movie where Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman is no longer a common whore and grows into a sophisticated lady, where Colin Firth tells Bridget Jones that he likes her "just the way she is" - I am an Ani DiFranco song, I am Carly Simon, I am Joni Mitchell. I became a woman Friday night. I have loved and I have loss. I experienced absolute cruelty when he looked coldly into my eyes and told me he didn't love me anymore. But for some reason, that's okay. I am a better person for experiencing this. Time heals all. And you took the time to call me up at 2 a.m. that night to tell me I was the most beautiful woman that he has ever seen and that he wanted to get lost in my eyes forever. Granted, you were drunk, but it gave me the one thing that I have lost these past few weeks - which is sick hope. A Saigon Deli sandwich kinda hope. That men won't give me food poisoning but will give me a great sandwich bursting with flavor. That men can be a decadent meal for only a measly two dollars.

Yesterday, beautiful Sarah David called me (hello my love in case you are reading this - which I think you eventually will) and it was so good to hear her voice. A comforting siren voice whom I have loved the minute I met her - who introduced me to mango lasses, who used to walk with me to the park to smoke cigarettes and complain about life... it was good. She's coming back and I can't wait to see her in the summer. See you in New Jersey :) and I hope you have a good birthday tomorrow.

I am a single woman again and goddamn, I forgot what a jungle it is out there. But when you held me Friday night and stroked my hair, you gave me the best advice I could be given at 19. "Just go out there and have fun." And I am. I have two dates this week with the two most random guys I have ever met. It's all for fun, right? At least I'll get free coffee out of it, and who knows maybe I'll get a second date from one of them, but for right now, I don't think I'm ready for anything more than a "coffee date". But goddamn, it feels good to be wanted. And no, I rarely go on dates, so having two guys ask me out this week was purely coincidental and obviously a thumbs up from the Karma Godzz. I'm just supposed to have fun

Even though no one really reads this or cares enough to be remotely interested in my sad life, I was touched when Cherlaine told me today that Amrit was sad that I wasn't blogging anymore because she enjoys reading my blog (hello, Amrit!). Men will come and go, but my first love will always be my gonzo style writing - and eventually with more future heartbreaks and earth-quake-shattering-assholery-moments my writing (I hope) can only become better with time. I am Hunter S. Thompson, I am Lester Bangs, I am some kid that doesn't know shit about life - and that is a-okay. Because today was a good day. I spent an hour playing with Alex's new dog in the dog park and I spent two hours in the sun and I ran into the first guy I had a crush on in college. Everything will be okay. I love dogs and you are still cute. The sun is out and I am watching High Fidelity and not moping. Aubrey is painting and Cherlaine is writing. Everything is right where it should be.

Sorry for the crazy rants, I haven't written in a long time and it's really all just an unedited mess. If you have kept up by now, congratulations - I love you tenfold more than you ever know for it because it shows that you care.

I've only really had three heart-shattering moments, so I should be damn lucky to meet and love more men in my life to even have a 'Top 5' all-time most memorable breakup list. I can't fucking wait.

-Carolyn K. Huynh

"Should I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut when I meet someone new? Well, I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains. " -Rob Gordon

Peace, love, and thanks for everyone for being here for me these past few weeks.


Cherlaine said...

i think it's going to be a good week.

ella ordona said...

there you are.

Carolyn said...

I love you both

Marco said...

I read this! Religiously! You are my religion, Ms. huynh.

« ★ » Ћіτsΰzεη « ★ » said...

you make me want to watch the movie now. glad you're feeling better :3

catherine said...

"Even though no one really reads this or cares enough to be remotely interested in my sad life..."


and i never make those stupid heart pictures.