Friday, November 7, 2008

Dear Koreans

Let me give you a list of reasons why I am justified in hating your race and I have every right to do so.

1. My sister's first boyfriend was Korean. He was a dick. He was a generic "gangsta-DJ-breakdancer" from the hard streets of middle-class suburbia.
2. The Koreans on the ABC show "Lost" have no good storyline. They are useless. Get rid of them.
3. North Korea. Enough said. No explanation needed.
4. Kim Jong Ill. Enough said. No explanation needed.
5. Korea has the highest percentage (13%) of people who get plastic surgery in the world. They are ashamed of their Asian features and shouldn't even be included in the Asian race at all.
6. A good majority of them are "aggressive" meaning that they cluster together to wield knives and walk around like West Side Story ganging up on other Asians and forcing them into submission.
7. They are clique-y. They want to dominate the world. They are more bloodthirsty then Edward Cullen & Co. combined.
8. How dare they wanna learn ENglish!!! Them assholes are always sending their kids out of the country to go learn English somewhere else. (This is Aubrey's contribution to the list; not mine; she is speaking as a native Singaporean)
9. They put on too much makeup.
10. They like fast cars, monies, and Louis Vuitton bags. (wait... that's just Lisa Chang. KIDDING)
11. Pho > Kimchi. bitch.
12. They are blinded by material things. Seriously, look how small their eyes are - THEY JUST CAN'T SEE.
13. Their men are too consumed with muscle building.
14. Their women are either submissive or whores. Pick a side.
15. Everybody thinks I'm Korean. Since I've come up to Seattle, I've been asked if I was Korean about 100x.
16. They are too conservative.
18. The men treat their women like shit. The women are considered second to men.
19. They think they are better then everyone else.
20. They are Koreans.

Your pal,
Carolyn K. Huynh

P.S. I really am kidding - everyone just jokes about how much I hate Koreans so I figured I might as well give reasons. I'm no Hitler - so don't think I want to exterminate the Korean race. (maybe just a little - mostly the Koreans in southern California.)

1 comment:

Kelsey said...

Don't let Justine come across this