Sunday, November 2, 2008

Dear Jewish Boy

I can cite two incidences towards Jewish Boy that confirms true love. I have loved him since freshman year. I think he may be slightly mentally retarded though.

Incident #1:
September 29, 2003
Carolyn steps into the elevator and pushes the 6th floor button. She realizes that she isn’t alone in the elevator. She looks up and sees a scrawny, Jewish kid with huge curly afro-like hair, and Harry Potter-esque glasses.
She is immediately captivated.
Is this love at first sight? She asks herself.
He coughs.
I blink.
He coughs louder.
I blink twice.
Eventually, this cat and mouse game gets old, so she gets the courage to speak.
Hey, she says.
He nods his head.
Which floor do you live on?
I live in a realm unbeknownst to mankind, he says.

She falls even more in love. “Crazy Love” by Bob Dylan begins playing in the background.

I’m Carolyn. What’s your name?
He muses. Do you want my slave name or my real name?
I can feel a smile forming at the corners of my mouth. It was taking all the effort I had in my little body not to jump this kid and kiss him right then and there.
He answers the question for me. My name is *******.
What’s your real name? I ask.
I see.
Ding! Elevator opens.
I’ll see you later, he says.
Marry me, Carolyn thinks silently to herself as her hand is poised and ready to slap his ass.

Incident #2:
January 14, 2004

Carolyn walks into the cafeteria. She is so hungry she is willing to eat the shit that the school spews out. As she is waiting in line, ****** pops out of nowhere and her heart begins racing dramatically.
So, what are you up to tonight?
I shrug. Probably slaying some dragons.
He laughs. As if you can find any left in Seattle! I’ve slayed them all!
He walks off and Carolyn is left alone, shocked, standing in the pasta/salad line.
My heart hurts, she thinks to herself.

I realize now that love at first sight only works out when it’s reciprocated.

I still love you though, Jewish Boy. Keep on making me awkward every time we bump into each other on campus. I apologize in advance if I attack you. I am prone to do this every now and then.


ella said...

i absolutely love your writing. your voice is so strong and it's so hilarious.

Cherlaine said...


loved it kid.

christina said...

do not attack him

i repeat

do not attack him

why not try the healthy, non-sabotaging yourself way

..but i forgot, you're a smoker