Sunday, November 16, 2008

Dear Carolyn at age 39

I went to Volunteer Park today to protest Prop 8. It was amazing, inspiring, the usual what-have-you feelings you get at protests, the best parts of the day was when I got my fill of sneak attacking furry animals and rough-housing with them. I stood next to my best friend and protested for her future and for all my other gay/lesbian friends from back home that couldn't stand there next to me. I saw people holding hands, kissing each other... they were basically fighting for their right to love. I don't know, it's kinda inspirational isn't it? You don't see shit like this on a regular basis. I shit on the idea of marriage, but today, I've completely changed my mind about it. Complete 360. I should only be so lucky to spend my life with someone I absolutely love and adore for the rest of my life without any prejudices or inequalities.

I have been reevaluating my life a lot lately. I read my good friend, Kelsey's blog that she had written about me, and I felt really sad. The saddest I've felt in a long time - and I'm generally a sad person. I'm glad fall quarter is almost over. I'm glad I'm going home early. I'm done. See ya, assholes.

I really am full of shit. I know I am. I make grandiose plans about changing my life, doing great things, being a better person, stop being less asshole-ish, write a book, etc etc. I complain a lot. But everybody knows I'm never going to do anything about it. It's just who I am. I am a true American - I expect instant gratification for doing absolute shit. I want Obama to clean up this country in the first week he enters the White House or else I'm turning against him. I want him to withdraw from the war, I want prop 8 overturned, I want stem cell research to be back on, I want the economy to be fixed, I want more money for my college fund, I want my grandma to be taken care of, I want universal healthcare etc etc etc. Basically, what I really want is for everything to be alright. I really don't want the world to end in 2012. I know I have a bet going with Cherlaine about the world ending and I actually sided with the world ending in 4 years, I know I wallow in my room and say how much I hate my life, but in the end, I want to be able to look back on Carolyn at age 19 in twenty years and say "wow, you were a real dick" and laugh. Cause I know I'm a real dick, and I really hope the Carolyn at age 39 is awesome. I hope she has found someone she really loves and can be a real goofball around. I hope you don't end up with some Republican dick that talks about politics all the time. (Although, I hear sex with Republicans is really good and super kinky. ow ow ow lisa chang) I hope the Carolyn at 39 is still friends with all the great people she met at age 19. I hope the Carolyn at 39 has finally written her magnum opus and is published under Random House. I hope the Carolyn at 39 has gotten a sandwich named after her. I hope the Carolyn at 39 has lived in Tibet and found spiritual peace. I hope the Carolyn at 39 is a real stunner, that whenever she walks down the sidewalk men faint at the sight of her. I hope the Carolyn at 39 can actually make a real meal and eat it without throwing up.

Basically though, I hope the Carolyn at 39 isn't as ashamed of herself as the Carolyn at 19 is of her right now.

Your Pal (but not for long if you keep up this attitude),
Carolyn K. Huynh



Lisa said...

when you are 39 i hope you learn not to spill pasta sauce on your giant condom. because i know that in 20 you will still be loving that condom as much as you do now. dont kill me. your pal,

Kelsey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kelsey said...

I hope Carolyn at age 39 still asks Kelsey at age 39 to take care of her when she's lonely. I hope Carolyn at age 39 still is a writer, even if she thinks her words are pure garbage. I hope Carolyn at age 39 doesn't have mouth cancer. I hope Carolyn at age 39 is still a free spirit. I hope Carolyn at age 39 is alright with Kelsey at age 39.