Sunday, November 9, 2008

Dear Anti-Christ

I'm really into urban legends and conspiracy theories. I'm a big believer that 9/11 was an inside job and that something cataclysmic will happen in 2012 (maybe not the world ending - but something will happen that will forever change how humans, machines, and the earth connect). Lately, I've been having intense discussions with my housemates, Cherlaine & Ella if Obama is really the anti-christ. It's just so interesting; I'm not quite sure I believe he is - it's pretty far-fetched... I mean they thought JFK, Neitzsche, several popes in the past were the Anti-Christ. But it IS interesting that Obama became president RIGHT when several predictions about the end of the world is starting to align. Pope Benedict? 2012? Book of Revelations about the second coming of christ? Global warming? IT ALL MAKES SENSE GODDAMNIT. It'd be pretty ironic if we voted for the anti-christ; it'd all be our fault.

So, Obama ... or... anti-christ, or whoever you are, please don't make false hopes about bringing about hope, change, peace and in the end, you really are just the devil in disguise. That would really bum me out, man. So... please don't be the anti-christ. I voted for you, for chrissakes (pun) so don't fuck around with me, anti-christ (Obama).

Anyway, as per usual my weekend consisted of me dicking around. I ended up being the chauffeur for the entire weekend. I didn't mind actually, my liver needs a break every now and then. Last night after the UW party, we went over to Ella's apartment and at 1:30 in the morning we decided to saw her box spring in half. They were all shitfaced, and even sober, I still wanted to do it. It made complete sense at the time. It was actually really cathartic. Bunch of crazy drunk girls and a crazy scrawny kid sawing a bed frame into a million of little pieces. Yeah, these are the people I associate myself with.

We awoke this morning with this straight shooting urgency to acquire Taco Bell. It began as a nostalgic memory of Mexican pizzas that formulated into a crazy epic quest to find a Taco Bell in Seattle. We researched and gunned it to the nearest one (past Safeco Field) and I ordered $15 worth of food. We hurridly grabbed the nearest chairs, sat down, stared at each other in an almost Harold & Kumar-esque happiness at being near the gates of heaven... and then we chowed the fuck down. Of course, tummy aches and mini heart attacks happened very shortly aftewards. I gave my last taco to a homeless man and called it a day.

Blogging about my life wears me out. I don't do anything interesting. I mostly sit around in the dark, wallowing in my self pity, getting drunk, and sometimes go out with friends and do stupid shit ... like driving past Safeco just to find the nearest Taco Bell. But even if the only big thing on my agenda today was to get Taco Bell - at least it makes me happy.

I'm going to attempt to write my paper. I'll probably just sit on my ass, eating my taco, watch some episodes of Always Sunny in Philadelphia, try and log on to WoW only to be disconnected - causing me to curse wildly, go smoke my last cigarette pack, tell Cherlaine she's an ass, complain to Aubrey about how much I hate my life, take a fatty nap, complain some more, tell Cherlaine she's an ass, talk smack about Koreans, not move from my bed for five more hours, and basically not end up doing my paper at all.

Hope life is fairing well for everybody.

Your Pal,
Carolyn K. Huynh


P.S. Please don't bring about the end of the world, causing destruction and havoc, Obama. I really like you, man.

4 comments:

Cherlaine said...

FUCKING HILARIOUS.

Ed said...

p.s i stalk you. i deleted errbodies. BUT I WILL Re-FRIEND QUEST YOU CUZ. I'm a fucking prick lyke dat. plz2-ass-cept.

Carolyn said...

jesus christ eddie. where the fuck have you been? i cannot believe you deleted me by the way.

ella said...

barack me obamadeus.