most of the time I'm clear focused all around...

World of Warcraft has begun - along with my slow withdrawal from the world. Nerdy Cash Register Man was eyeing me with hungry eyes when I bought the game yesterday. I knew exactly what he was thinking too. "WOMAN!!" dosen't matter how unattractive you are, as long as you have a vagina - you are a goddess in their world. ...I kinda dig it. I will worship you as well, Nerdy Cash Register Man.

I don't exactly remember the second half of last night. All I remember is a bottle of tequila and many many "half" shots. I do however, remember asking Cherlaine when I woke up this morning, if I took off my pants. And she said, "Yes, Yes you did Carolyn. Along with Aubrey. You guys both went crazy and sat in the fountain at Volcano park. Pants-less". I look up at her from my bed, barely able to raise my head from the weight of the hangover that loomed over me, my eyes smeared with black eye-liner, crusts around the edges, my breath reaking of tequila and morning breath, and I barely raise my head off my pillow as I muster up all the energy I have inside of me as I say, "hell yes!"


You know, I don't have much in this world, but when a good friend turns and looks at you - moments before you both know you're about to do something absolutely stupid, and they give you a handshake and say "I will always take my pants off with you, Carolyn" - darlings, that's pure love. Second time I've taken my pants off with Aubrey and the other time was in a different country.


Anyway, I'm currently in the library with my pysch 120 group. We were supposed to meet at 10:00 am but I overslept and showed up at 11:00. They were nice enough about it. They're all guys - so they have to be nice to the only girl. They're making me be the quiet little Asian girl - doing all the grunt work and talking while I just press the powerpoint button. I don't really give a shit either way, but they are also making skits to present in front of the class and they asked me to be the wife to the Arabian kid. I thought I would choose this moment to interject and use my humor as a defense mechanism.

Guy #1: Can you be Abdul's wife in this skit?
Hornygirl59: Okay, but he has to hold my hand.
Guy #2: Okay... you guys can do whatever you want.
Hornygirl59: And when Abdul "introduces" me, he has to say "this is my beautiful wife, isn't she gorgeous?" and EVERYONE in the skit has to agree.
Guy #2: Okay.... I suppose.... we can put that in...
Hornygirl59: Okay. Good. Now that all my demands have been met, I whole-heartedly agree to be your slut quiet Asian wife.

This is the point where all three guys stop and stare and they don't know if I'm kidding or not.


I am about to peace cause I'm about to go to the corn maze. CORNROWS OF WASHINGTON FTW