Showing posts with label Cherlaine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cherlaine. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

disgusting.

My body feels heavy. I've slept since 2:30 a.m. this morning till 1:00 p.m. - got up, went to my 1:35 class, ran some errands.... stopped by Little Saigon for a Vietnamese sandwich... came home, watched a couple of episodes of Always Sunny and fell asleep with my mouth open. I've been awake for five hours and basically slept this entire day away. I am sick, coughing, clammy, and I cannot tell if I have food poisoning or not.

What was that thing we learned in psych class? cognitive behavior.... no, wait not cognitive, it was that other thing? where once you are exposed to something that harms you - you basically don't tend to do it again. I do believe this is my fourth case of food poisoning/sickness from the SAME FUCKING PLACE. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. this isn't sick hope anymore, this is JUST STUPIDITY. I hate myself. I am absolutely filthy. Disgusting. ABSURD. I do not understand why anyone would take me as I am - I am a complete goof.


Goddamnit. Goddamnit all to hell. What a day.... Carolyn is pretty irritated. Mostly at herself, at her essay that wasn't even DUE TODAY, at her communications group presentation grade, at her terrible immune system, and basically, for being a complete all around idiot. I am a clown.

I'm going to remedy this. I'm going to retreat into the boonies otherwise known as Auburn, WA for the weekend. I'm going to get a fatty haircut on Monday. And I'm going to fuck my psych final so hard. But most of all - I AM NOT GOING TO BUY ANOTHER GODDAMN SANDWICH FROM SAIGON DELI.


I'll make all of you proud of me.




P.S. I have found the culprit. Cherlaine - you are the one that started this whole "sick" thing. I fucking shared that plate of noodles with you when you were still sick. VENDETTA!! Well, it could also be because Aubrey is sick... but I'm still going to blame you. I always do.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Dear Miserable Wench(es)

I took hella fatty naps today. Cherlaine woke me up from said fatty nap and wanted me to take her to Auburn and back. I accepted the quest because she is bffl after all. The whole ride there we were shouting Always Sunny quotes at each other:
"Get me a flagon of ale, wench!"
"I'll beat him about the face, chest, and maybe the groin until he has no more life pulse!"
"You keep your sister as your slave?"

Walked in half an hour late to my 8:15 class. The professor gave me an irritated look and grudgingly accepted my essay. I came back home, sat on my bed, and had a lengthy debate with Cherlaine slash Aubrey about going to my Central class. I decided that my presence there was not needed. It hasn't been needed for the past five weeks, so why bother now? So, we all decided to take fatty naps together. That's how homegirls roll.

Am now currently in psych 12o. sitting next to BFFL aka Cherlaine. I still blame her for making me take this useless class. I just dropped 3k on a class I don't even need. She has been the bane of my existance for far too long. But she is making it up to me and has agreed to help me level up. we are awesome for playing wow during class. In fact, we made a several new fwiends today. a gnome mage and a druid night elf. the gnome mage seemed like a real cunt though. the druid night elf, lisachang, and carelyn had an epic battle at the frostmane cave. I, of course, died on both carelyn and druid night elf:

lisachang craps out during epic battle and is currently trying to find her body.
meanwhile...
carelyn (aka Cherlaine) the gnome: sry. i have 2 wait for my dead friend.
druid night elf: k. l8ter.

....


Cherlaine and I have decided to skip the second half of class so we snuck out during break. The professor is extremely wary of the both of us; she knows we're a package deal. One cannot be present without the other. One cannot live while the other survives (harry potter prophecy, bitch) This has been a recurring theme for the past five classes.
Cherlaine has graciously agreed to buy me dinner (vry nice of her) as well as for Wisa Wang. I, in exchange, buy her beer. having fwiends is nice.

just woke up from another fatty nap. I feel like I've been subsisting off of 2 hour increments of fatty naps, food poisoning, cowboy bebop, Cherlaine's Marlboro 27s, and good conversation. I still feel like a miserable wench though. Cherlaine and Aubrey are also miserable wenches as well. we validate each other's existence.

I feel very lethargic. am currently debating if I should do something tonight, or just curl up in my bed, streamline some shows, wallow some more, throw back a couple of Coronas, sneak attack a cigarette in, and call it a night.



lolz. I'm gonna watch some anime, drink some cranberry juice, put my hair up, continue the debate on the subject of naps with Aubrey, plead with Cherlaine to help me level up tonight, tell Cherlaine she's an ass for not doing it, go smoke a ciggie with Cherlaine cause she is terrible at not giving me anymore cigarettes, and call it a night with a couple of miserable wenches.



Your fellow wench,
Carolyn K. Huynh


P.S. Someone needs to wash the fucking dishes. and it's not gonna be me. I'm not gonna do Charlie Work.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Dear Anti-Christ

I'm really into urban legends and conspiracy theories. I'm a big believer that 9/11 was an inside job and that something cataclysmic will happen in 2012 (maybe not the world ending - but something will happen that will forever change how humans, machines, and the earth connect). Lately, I've been having intense discussions with my housemates, Cherlaine & Ella if Obama is really the anti-christ. It's just so interesting; I'm not quite sure I believe he is - it's pretty far-fetched... I mean they thought JFK, Neitzsche, several popes in the past were the Anti-Christ. But it IS interesting that Obama became president RIGHT when several predictions about the end of the world is starting to align. Pope Benedict? 2012? Book of Revelations about the second coming of christ? Global warming? IT ALL MAKES SENSE GODDAMNIT. It'd be pretty ironic if we voted for the anti-christ; it'd all be our fault.

So, Obama ... or... anti-christ, or whoever you are, please don't make false hopes about bringing about hope, change, peace and in the end, you really are just the devil in disguise. That would really bum me out, man. So... please don't be the anti-christ. I voted for you, for chrissakes (pun) so don't fuck around with me, anti-christ (Obama).

Anyway, as per usual my weekend consisted of me dicking around. I ended up being the chauffeur for the entire weekend. I didn't mind actually, my liver needs a break every now and then. Last night after the UW party, we went over to Ella's apartment and at 1:30 in the morning we decided to saw her box spring in half. They were all shitfaced, and even sober, I still wanted to do it. It made complete sense at the time. It was actually really cathartic. Bunch of crazy drunk girls and a crazy scrawny kid sawing a bed frame into a million of little pieces. Yeah, these are the people I associate myself with.

We awoke this morning with this straight shooting urgency to acquire Taco Bell. It began as a nostalgic memory of Mexican pizzas that formulated into a crazy epic quest to find a Taco Bell in Seattle. We researched and gunned it to the nearest one (past Safeco Field) and I ordered $15 worth of food. We hurridly grabbed the nearest chairs, sat down, stared at each other in an almost Harold & Kumar-esque happiness at being near the gates of heaven... and then we chowed the fuck down. Of course, tummy aches and mini heart attacks happened very shortly aftewards. I gave my last taco to a homeless man and called it a day.

Blogging about my life wears me out. I don't do anything interesting. I mostly sit around in the dark, wallowing in my self pity, getting drunk, and sometimes go out with friends and do stupid shit ... like driving past Safeco just to find the nearest Taco Bell. But even if the only big thing on my agenda today was to get Taco Bell - at least it makes me happy.

I'm going to attempt to write my paper. I'll probably just sit on my ass, eating my taco, watch some episodes of Always Sunny in Philadelphia, try and log on to WoW only to be disconnected - causing me to curse wildly, go smoke my last cigarette pack, tell Cherlaine she's an ass, complain to Aubrey about how much I hate my life, take a fatty nap, complain some more, tell Cherlaine she's an ass, talk smack about Koreans, not move from my bed for five more hours, and basically not end up doing my paper at all.

Hope life is fairing well for everybody.

Your Pal,
Carolyn K. Huynh


P.S. Please don't bring about the end of the world, causing destruction and havoc, Obama. I really like you, man.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

DEAR CHERLAINE

APOLOGY UNACCEPTED. YOU HAVE MADE ME SWITCH WOW SERVERS AND THEREFORE I HAVE LOST MY PRIZED GNOME TO THE WORLD OF NORGANNON AND NOW I AM A LOWLY LEVEL 1 GNONE IN DRENDEN. YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGIVE FOR THIS.

NEVER!!!!



Your pal,
Carolyn

P.S. See you in psych tomorrow!

Monday, October 27, 2008

stayin' inside, doing whatever the TV tells me to do

You know your life is over when you start pining over anime characters. I never really got into the whole anime scene until I innocently watched a Bleach episode two weeks ago - and I never recovered. I acknowledge that I have an addictive personality. I KNOW I do. This was proven last night when I stayed up till 4:30 a.m. watching about 25 episodes of Bleach. I pine for the archer guy. He's so hot. I want him to shoot an arrow at me. Then grab me and start passionately ... FUCK JESUS CHRIST. I see the words that I am typing and I have never felt so ashamed.

On another note, world of warcraft is really starting to get on my nerves. I've died maybe about 22 times now. I can't level up. I hate myself. It's so easy, I understand the objective of the game, I know what I need to do, but my brain is missing this piece of my brain that contains logic. I've never had an ounce of logic inside of me - which explains why I easily snap and do stupid shit. Actually, I can't blame that on not me being logical, I'm just a stupid person in general.

Today is a beautiful day. Too beautiful. Too sunny. I am suspicious of the universe. It's just too much "happiness" for me. Which explains why I am inside in the dark, watching anime, continuously dying in WoW, in my pajamas and furiously chewing on a piece of gum to prevent me from smoking another cigarette. I want to say I hate my life - but that line has become too repetitive, too overused, too overdone. I say it the minute I wake up till the minute I go to bed. It's cyclical.
I went to Central today. First time in weeks. Aubrey had to wake me up, she slightly raised her voice at me, told me to get up and go to class. I groan, grunt, complain, tell her she's a whore, get up, put on the same old dirty pair of jeans as always, scowl etched on my face, walk the 4 blocks to central, walk up the 3 flights of stairs... and BAM class cancelled. FUCK YOU UNIVERSE FUCK YOU.

Reason number 3 why the universe is dicking me around today: I go grab some coffee at Stumptown. Fo Free. Coffee Cards FTW. I light up a cigarette, walk over to the library to meet my psych group. Wait inside for 20 minutes only to realize that nobody is coming. I become confuzzled. I walk outside and pace around. Abdul comes around the corner, talking on his phone. I say, "HEY, where is everyone?" He stumbles, turns around, is confused at who this small little Asian girl is, and realizes that it is the same girl that is in his goddamn group. Comes over, apologizes and tells me that the meeting was canceled. Irritation reeks from my pores.
I ask, "why didn't anyone call me?"
"Oh... we didn't have your number."
"I... gave it to you guys...."
"I guess none of us programmed it."
For fuck's sake.

I then proceded to go to UW campus today with Aubrey and we walked around and got pakistani food. We sat around the fountain and Aubrey proclaimed she wanted to be a duck. I smoked a cigarette. It was a real eventful day. Sarcasm. No, it was actually nice. We talked about the future. It's just so murky to us right now. I don't really know what I want to do, but I suppose combine journalism/writing with traveling/non-profit. National Geographic? Conde Naste Travel? Tater? I just want to be able to pay the bills with my pen.

I am often questioning myself as a writer. Am I actually good at writing? I have accumulated a pile of unfinished manuscripts from freshman year of high school till now. Unfinished plots, characters with no depth, various protagonists of the Holden Caulfield-archetype just trying to make it in this world... etc etc. I need to find my niche. I guess I'm funny when I write, but do I really want to be a clown to the mass hordes of robots? Or do I want to go the political route and change the world? Current events? Fashion? Page 6 NY Times? The answer is no. No, I do not. To ALL OF THE ABOVE. I do think that I would do well working for The Stranger though. Why? Because I'm a liberal piece of shit that uses the word FUCK all the goddamn time. They would love me. I would use "fuck" to start off every single sentence - hell, I'll just throw it in when it doesn't even make sense. That's my kind of journalism right there. Fuck.


Oh whatever. I'll say it one last time:
I hate my life.

I am going to go watch another episode of Bleach and die in WoW. Hope you guys are doing something productive/fun in the sunshine - cause lord knows I won't be.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

most of the time I'm clear focused all around...

World of Warcraft has begun - along with my slow withdrawal from the world. Nerdy Cash Register Man was eyeing me with hungry eyes when I bought the game yesterday. I knew exactly what he was thinking too. "WOMAN!!" dosen't matter how unattractive you are, as long as you have a vagina - you are a goddess in their world. ...I kinda dig it. I will worship you as well, Nerdy Cash Register Man.

I don't exactly remember the second half of last night. All I remember is a bottle of tequila and many many "half" shots. I do however, remember asking Cherlaine when I woke up this morning, if I took off my pants. And she said, "Yes, Yes you did Carolyn. Along with Aubrey. You guys both went crazy and sat in the fountain at Volcano park. Pants-less". I look up at her from my bed, barely able to raise my head from the weight of the hangover that loomed over me, my eyes smeared with black eye-liner, crusts around the edges, my breath reaking of tequila and morning breath, and I barely raise my head off my pillow as I muster up all the energy I have inside of me as I say, "hell yes!"


You know, I don't have much in this world, but when a good friend turns and looks at you - moments before you both know you're about to do something absolutely stupid, and they give you a handshake and say "I will always take my pants off with you, Carolyn" - darlings, that's pure love. Second time I've taken my pants off with Aubrey and the other time was in a different country.


Anyway, I'm currently in the library with my pysch 120 group. We were supposed to meet at 10:00 am but I overslept and showed up at 11:00. They were nice enough about it. They're all guys - so they have to be nice to the only girl. They're making me be the quiet little Asian girl - doing all the grunt work and talking while I just press the powerpoint button. I don't really give a shit either way, but they are also making skits to present in front of the class and they asked me to be the wife to the Arabian kid. I thought I would choose this moment to interject and use my humor as a defense mechanism.

Guy #1: Can you be Abdul's wife in this skit?
Hornygirl59: Okay, but he has to hold my hand.
Guy #2: Okay... you guys can do whatever you want.
Hornygirl59: And when Abdul "introduces" me, he has to say "this is my beautiful wife, isn't she gorgeous?" and EVERYONE in the skit has to agree.
Guy #2: Okay.... I suppose.... we can put that in...
Hornygirl59: Okay. Good. Now that all my demands have been met, I whole-heartedly agree to be your slut quiet Asian wife.

This is the point where all three guys stop and stare and they don't know if I'm kidding or not.


I am about to peace cause I'm about to go to the corn maze. CORNROWS OF WASHINGTON FTW