fuck earth

I don't even know

Thanks to Keoni.. to whom I have acquired all three LOTR movies (I'm sorry, I mean, El señor de los anillos. there were no subtitles, Keoni. I do not speak Elvish)- the goddamn extended version - I have lost this entire day. Never, in my entire life, have I sat so still in one position staring so intently at the screen before. I have no idea if it was sunny or rainy today/tonight. I do not know hunger. I do not know pain. I do not feel love. I do, however, know that one does not simply walk into Mordor.

Every time anyone said "there and back again" in the film I would clap for being so awesome as to have that tattooed on my back on a moment's whim at some random tattoo parlor in the East Village.

I have ignored everyone today. From 4 pm to 2:35 a.m., I have sat rock solid still for the second and third film - each roughly around 4 hours long. Yes, there were some distractions that made me pause the film (i.e. Ella -I'm not blaming you, lovely seeing you; thanks for even making an attempt to get me out of the house / and the blip with Alex - not blaming you either, thanks for the food)

I have a job interview in 7 hours. But unfortunately, adrenaline is rushing through my body. My nights and days have been reversed. I stay up all night and sleep during the day.

The ultimate quesiton now though is... should I spend the next 4 hours awake watching the first movie with the extended version - even though I JUST watched the edited version yesterday - or should I attempt to try and catch some sleep so I look somewhat decent for tomorrow's interview with Pirsohky Piroshky at Pike Place?

What the fuck is wrong with me? I just watched Harry Potter yesterday too. I am just pumped with movies that deal with pure fucking awesomeness.

It's officially 3 in the morning. I just want to wield a sword (or a wand) with fellow cohorts and save the world.

Aubrey's brother has given her his password to his website of movies (there are millions - literally, millions of links to movies). My mother has finally mailed me my Gamecube cord and I've been gifted with a slew of newly downloaded movies on my harddrive.


If I shall never resurface again from this hellhole of a basement - remember me not as the girl that died with a controller in her hand or who willingly chose having her own personal LOTR marathon on her computer over going to a bar - but as a slightly absurd human being that didn't really know how to make much good use of her time.

For those that have been worried/pestering us for details

What went down two nights ago was the result of a vindictive sycophant, nihilistic and petty girl. We should have called the cops - but we chose not to. It was an invasion of privacy. Trespassing. Domestic violence. Whatever it was, it was just fucking psychotic. If you have seen/heard through the grapevine about what went down - or have stumbled upon the broken glass that has littered our front steps, then you have a small idea of what happened. The kitchen is in even worse shape. It is completely littered with broken shit. If you're wondering about what spurred this onslaught of CRAZY, it's because I chose to sell my shit for quick cash since I am broke/jobless and owe people money. That's right. I chose to sell my own stuff for cash to pay off debts and she went ape-shit on the apartment over a pot that you can get at Value Village for a dollar.

We are dealing with it as best as we can. We really can't quench people's thirst for scandalous gossip nor do we really want to or have the energy to. Thanks for your concern and whatever you've heard - it's probably true. So, take it all with a grain of salt and send us some good vibrations. Hell, it doesn't even matter whose side you are on, this is fucking inexcusable. We should have called the cops and you should have paid for what you've done to what little possessions we owned. They aren't worth much, but they held sentimental value - and it sure as hell is worth a lot more than the shit you own.




People like you are the reason why there's no more love in this world. You are an ugly person for wrecking havoc on a place all of us have tried hard to call 'home' this year and for spreading lies about me and the people I love. You have no respect for anybody's possessions. You're just selfish, but I guess you already knew that.

If people are disappointing you, if life's going the opposite of whatever direction you wanted it to go, if you think humanity is disgusting - just kick back and chug a beer. No stress and no worries. The best you can do is love people for their flaws and move on.

Nobody's perfect. I'm certainly not. But I do my goddamn fucking best to love and live with my whole heart. If you give me your loyalty, I will the best goddamn friend you will ever have. In one night you have severed ties with everyone that ever cared for you. I will never understand your motive. Nobody that was present that night ever will.

I have nothing more to say. This is the morning after the storm. I am a calm blue sea.



Peace and love.

I've got your number!

Have you seen me cry tears like diamonds!
Down and down they fly, faster and faster like the speed of our love!
BATTING A THOUSAND, BUT A HOMERUN CRACK AT LOVE!
This is where I tell you that, I know love's what I need to work at, oh!
Passion Pit!

I HAVE ADD!
And I can't write this article!
Procrastination!
My Spectator article comes out tomorrow!
Go check it out!


I'm going to see Star Trek with you!
Girls are fucking insane!
You're a bitch!

impromptu dance party, go! CHERLAINE! CHERLAINE! CHERLAINE!
WHOA!

listen to this song. vry good. I've been procrastinating since yesterday at 7 pm. up till 5 a.m. and now it is 7 p.m. - a full 24 hrs has passed me by and all I have is the intro.

Ive Got Your Number - Passion Pit

-as stolen from Cherlaine's Blog

what it do, baby boo?

Maps

I am currently listening to Otis Redding, pounding some Session lager, and skimming through my history notes for my midterm tomorrow. so fucking stressed out.

I got an extension on my blog. It was shit. If you read my article you wouldn't be able to tell if I was joking or not. Jha was very nice about giving me a few more days to work on it. She also took me aside after class and told me that she thought my writing skills were very good and that she was recommending me for the Spectator staff position. what now, bitch! love you, Jha. you my girl.

I have gotten validation from my favorite professor. I feel very pleased. My ego has been boosted from -100 to -99.

I have a million and a half things to do within the next few days. I hate being on deadline. fucking stressin me out. My article for the Spectator is due at 2 pm on Saturday and one of the student bands performing at Quadstock hasn't responded to my email yet. I have three interviews with three different bands in the next two days - but the one band that I really need to talk to is being a little bitch. It's Quadstock not Coachella. This isn't Rolling Stone magazine, it's the goddamn Spectator. So get back to me! PLZ!

I've been running on sugar-free red bull, Stumptown french-pressed drip coffee, and many many cigarettes. Beer is my best friend. I am ODing on current affairs and being force-fed the NY Times. Ga Ga Loc's hong kong style chow mein is my current obsession. In general, I am keeping my mind busy to distract myself from thinking of him.

Tomorrow is a very boring day. I have to pick up my dry-cleaning, deposit a check, deposit some money into Thyvu's account, apply at Pete's Coffee and Tea, take my midterm, interview a student band, re-write my blog(s), go see the play(s) at the Lee center. etc etc.

I am sad to announce though that my trip to CA has been canceled. I don't really want to explain why. Goodbye Christina, I hope you enjoy Thailand. I'll probably never see you again. Nor will I ever meet 6'2" jewish boy (and he sounded so promising).


I'm done procrastinating. I really need to start studying now.

By the end of next week, I will have a job.



p.s. I think you're incredible.

Lightning strikes, maybe once, maybe twice

I chickened out. Meeting at Pike Place then taking the water taxi to Alki? I'm not ready to move on. Not yet. Especially not with you.

Whatever happened to getting cheap coffee, a couple of smokes, some slices of Hot Mama's pesto pizza and talking at Cal Anderson? I'm a simple girl. There's no need to impress me. I'll buy my own coffee and slice of pizza - all you have to do is show up.

I canceled on him. There were many reasons at play. Mostly because I ran into Kelsey that day and she wanted me to cancel on him so she could set me up with someone else that night. So, I agreed. We drove to Renton Friday night and met up with some of her friends and the guy. It was a surprisingly pleasant night. There was no alcohol or pressure to 'party' - it consisted of drinking Dr. Pepper, playing Apples to Apples and eating frozen fries. He was charming. But there are lots of charming people out there. I drove Kelsey home and then we stopped by Alex's birthday party for five minutes to wish him happy birthday. Homeboy's hella old.



Are people taking pity on me? Thyvu's boy-toy intends on setting me up with some 6'2" jewish boy who uses an inhaler when I come down to CA in a few weeks.
I cannot tell if they are doing this because they love me and they genuinely think I will click with said set-up/blind-date boy or because I have been walking around with the world's saddest face. I am not quite sure why I agree either. It truly must be boredom. Or desperation. Or maybe because I'm hoping lightning will strike me again when I find someone I really like. Which I doubt will happen (at least not for awhile).


I am major procrastinating right now. I applied as a barista for Bon Appetit today and tried a vegan burger at Hillside Quickie's. My AP exam is on Monday and my history midterm is on Thursday. I am being forced to go to The Spectator meeting on Monday night and write an article for them. If you can't tell from this entry, I am listless and bored of life. I can't wait for California and the jewish boy who has apparently never gotten anything less than an A- in his entire life. He sounds like a real keeper.


Current songs on repeat:
Passion Pit - Better Things (thx Cherlaine for introducing)
Animal Collective - My Girls
Hot Chip - Keep Fallin'
Fleetwood Mac - Gypsy
PB&J - I want you!
Bob Dylan - Most of the Time
Hot Chip - In the Privacy of your Love




God is on my side. I know it. Whatever God means or represents, he's on my side.