The same song is on repeat. Thank you kindly, Cherlainewoman, for introducing me to Bon Iver. I enjoy his music a lot. It snowed in Seattle last night. Gosh, it sure was fun. I love that Seattle people don't know how to handle snow... they freak out at the smallest snowflake; it's kinda funny. I haven't attempted to drive in the snow yet, I think I'd rather just not...
First day of a new quarter/(not really) year. I don't know how I feel about it. I guess I'm just burnt out on the idea of college and yet another writing class I have to take. My professor is ballin' though, a bit awkward, and I suspect his mind is somewhat deteriorating, but goddamn that man loves to write. lol, he has suggested we all start blogs to improve on our writing. oh, prof. G, if you only knew the bullshit I write about in my blogs. random shit nobody really cares about. just an extension of what I think about daily, what constantly runs through my mind all day. I blog at strange times and mostly for no reason at all. there is usually no plot.... kinda like this particular blog that I am currently tapping away at my Macbook right now.
prof. G: I quit smoking 30 years ago. It got to the point where I couldn't begin to write unless I smoked a Marlboro. I guess I'm an okay writer now. But damn.... I was such a Marlboro man... *trails off*
hilarious. very poignant to my situation. except I just smoke because I hate my life, not that it enhances my writing or anything.
I still feel scattered, unsure of what today is, what errands I'm supposed to run, who I'm supposed to meet, if I should go fetch my textbooks... a million random fucking questions that I really don't care to answer. I awoke from yet another fatty nap (haha, and so marks another quarter in the life of a shitty undergraduate... the fuckin nap) and I am listening to Bon Iver on my headphones, in the dark (it's only 3:14 pm!) and wondering if I should leave the house. I think i might actually leave the fuckin' house. Why the hell not? I'm just full of surprises today, aren't I? I do have to talk to Dominos though.... hrm.
godDAMN bon iver is good. the combination of the dreary weather, my apathetic mood, the ambiance of "the shire"... goddamn goddamn, I love it when people give me new music to check out. you always get that small apprehensive feeling before you begin to really listen to the entire cd; thinking 'fuck not another indie band with a one hit song' but godDAMN and I say godDAMN, that moment when you listen to a really good fucking song and boy, do they prove you wrong - it's a beautiful feeling. I'm going to wear out this one song (because god knows I play things on repeat until they reach the triple digit mark on itunes, and then I get sick of it - hell, aubrey gets sick of hearing the same song everytime she walks into the room)
ramble ramble, I'm just procrastinating from actually getting up, getting dressed, and walking outside. okay, here I go. hope everyone's first day went well/not so shitty.
...I'm going to play it one more time though. : )
love, free man
Monday, January 5, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Oh my God
I love that feeling of waking up, vision blurred, smudged eyeliner, pounding headache... and you lay there awake for awhile thinking only one thought: "what the fuck happened last night?" It's a beautiful feeling and a great way to start the new quarter/year. Happy Birthday, Ella! You can finally buy me alcohol instead of the other way around. Funny how that works.
My liver needs a break. I believe it is dying on me, this week has been nonstop drinking. I have a job, school is starting tomorrow, blah blah blah be more healthy blah blah.
Yeah no seriously though. I'm never drinking Big Bear in front of people again. I had no idea Big Bear is such a weepy drink. Maybe because I've actually never finished it before.... but still, FUCK. Three nights in a row of drinking Big Bear and I always end up crying/emotional. Fuck you big bear. I never cried after finishing a shitty pabst 40z. Oh well...
It's 2:01 p.m., I awoke a mere half hour ago, tried to figure out what went down last night, and decided to blog because I thought it was a great night (aside from the weepiness).
Alex and I went to Westlake to say hi to Kelsey (who looks absolutely lovely) because she was bored at work. She gave us a free crepe and I bought her pot. It was brilliant. Then we decided to pre-game at Umi's happy hour in Belltown. I tried warm sake. disgusting. had some sapporo draft; pretty good. I still think though that the best beer I ever had was in Canada over the summer... what was it called again? Honey lager? something like that. the sapporo draft had a similiar taste, but of course, it was missing the honey lol. Then we headed over to Ben's place for Ella's 21st. After reaching the point of shittyfuckingdrunk, I don't really remember what happened after that. Cherlaine has informed me we all starting singing "Oh Darling" together at one point and she dropped to her knees. A lesbian apparently hit on me and I was unaware she was doing it. And apparently Lisachang and Aubrey spun me around. Yeah. Sloppy drunks. All of us. Love you, Ella girl. Hope you enjoy being 21 and fabulous (as always). Sorry we're all a bit embarassing lol.
I enjoy change. I usually make change happen. But, I am worried about this quarter. Things are going to be different around the Wayward Home. A new "roommate" will be arriving and staying with us for three weeks. Cherlaine won't be over as much anymore, I will sorely miss her. I was on Facebook and walling each other's conversation. I loved summer. It was basically me, cherlaine, lisachang everyday at shinkatea. I miss summer.. I found the best wall post ever:
"this is our daily routine. cherlaine works at shinka at 6. I come in looking apathetic. she immediately starts her cigarette break, I of course, follow. we look apathetic together. she goes back to make Diner Dash a reality and makes more tea drinks for the slews of Asians that studies all the fucking time. she takes another cigarette break. I follow, of course. she goes back, repeat. I tell her to make me a goddamn drink. she calls me a bitch and makes one eventually. she kicks everybody out early. closes up shop. we drive back to the apartment and I throw more insults at her and she tells me to stop being an ass. and now she is taking over MY air mattress and I have to be the bitch and sleep on the floor next to her. the end."
sorry, now this blog is just an endless ramble. I am just going to have to embrace everything that comes. good and bad.
Thank god I'm leaving for NYC in two weeks. Can't wait to board a plane to JFK, take the subway to union square, and walk into a bar and order a gin and tonic. wuddup future city/home of carolyn/charlie.
My liver needs a break. I believe it is dying on me, this week has been nonstop drinking. I have a job, school is starting tomorrow, blah blah blah be more healthy blah blah.
Yeah no seriously though. I'm never drinking Big Bear in front of people again. I had no idea Big Bear is such a weepy drink. Maybe because I've actually never finished it before.... but still, FUCK. Three nights in a row of drinking Big Bear and I always end up crying/emotional. Fuck you big bear. I never cried after finishing a shitty pabst 40z. Oh well...
It's 2:01 p.m., I awoke a mere half hour ago, tried to figure out what went down last night, and decided to blog because I thought it was a great night (aside from the weepiness).
Alex and I went to Westlake to say hi to Kelsey (who looks absolutely lovely) because she was bored at work. She gave us a free crepe and I bought her pot. It was brilliant. Then we decided to pre-game at Umi's happy hour in Belltown. I tried warm sake. disgusting. had some sapporo draft; pretty good. I still think though that the best beer I ever had was in Canada over the summer... what was it called again? Honey lager? something like that. the sapporo draft had a similiar taste, but of course, it was missing the honey lol. Then we headed over to Ben's place for Ella's 21st. After reaching the point of shittyfuckingdrunk, I don't really remember what happened after that. Cherlaine has informed me we all starting singing "Oh Darling" together at one point and she dropped to her knees. A lesbian apparently hit on me and I was unaware she was doing it. And apparently Lisachang and Aubrey spun me around. Yeah. Sloppy drunks. All of us. Love you, Ella girl. Hope you enjoy being 21 and fabulous (as always). Sorry we're all a bit embarassing lol.
I enjoy change. I usually make change happen. But, I am worried about this quarter. Things are going to be different around the Wayward Home. A new "roommate" will be arriving and staying with us for three weeks. Cherlaine won't be over as much anymore, I will sorely miss her. I was on Facebook and walling each other's conversation. I loved summer. It was basically me, cherlaine, lisachang everyday at shinkatea. I miss summer.. I found the best wall post ever:
"this is our daily routine. cherlaine works at shinka at 6. I come in looking apathetic. she immediately starts her cigarette break, I of course, follow. we look apathetic together. she goes back to make Diner Dash a reality and makes more tea drinks for the slews of Asians that studies all the fucking time. she takes another cigarette break. I follow, of course. she goes back, repeat. I tell her to make me a goddamn drink. she calls me a bitch and makes one eventually. she kicks everybody out early. closes up shop. we drive back to the apartment and I throw more insults at her and she tells me to stop being an ass. and now she is taking over MY air mattress and I have to be the bitch and sleep on the floor next to her. the end."
sorry, now this blog is just an endless ramble. I am just going to have to embrace everything that comes. good and bad.
Thank god I'm leaving for NYC in two weeks. Can't wait to board a plane to JFK, take the subway to union square, and walk into a bar and order a gin and tonic. wuddup future city/home of carolyn/charlie.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Dear Dominos
Thank you very much for hiring me on the spot. I would be delighted to be your newest delivery driver. You guys seem hella sketch though, but that's Broadway for you, so I completely understand if you people may be a little bit... off. (Although, it speaks volumes that I instantly got hired by you guys. I suppose I can officially declare myself crazy as well/group myself with you people.)
Favorite quotes:
Sketch Mexican Cook #1: You're applying as a driver? YO BOSS, this girl's applying as a driver!
Sketch Mexican Cook #2: You go girl!
Carolyn: So, I was wondering if you guys were going to give me a GPS system or something to find my way through Capitol Hill?
Manager: Uhm, we have a map we can give you. You can read maps right?
Manager: *glances through my application* How come you didn't fill out the previous employee section?
Carolyn: Well, see---
Manager: *cuts me off* Doesn't matter what you did. You're hired.
fuckin' ballz. 2009, what a year so far. Carolyn and George together as a team, working for the man and making bank for rent and beer. OBAMAAA!!!
Favorite quotes:
Sketch Mexican Cook #1: You're applying as a driver? YO BOSS, this girl's applying as a driver!
Sketch Mexican Cook #2: You go girl!
Carolyn: So, I was wondering if you guys were going to give me a GPS system or something to find my way through Capitol Hill?
Manager: Uhm, we have a map we can give you. You can read maps right?
Manager: *glances through my application* How come you didn't fill out the previous employee section?
Carolyn: Well, see---
Manager: *cuts me off* Doesn't matter what you did. You're hired.
fuckin' ballz. 2009, what a year so far. Carolyn and George together as a team, working for the man and making bank for rent and beer. OBAMAAA!!!
Jesus
Germs have infiltrated my body once again. I have no idea who keeps getting me sick. I can't tell if it's the Wayward home that is full of invisible germs or if I got sick from someone from back home (Thyvu?? But... I got YOU sick from MY germs, so that means, I got myself sick..?) I woke up hella hungover this morning and wheezing a fit.
I have many things to do today. Such as... apply at Dominoes as a delievery girl, pay for rent, purchase a supply of contacts, purchase my textbooks (fuck), get groceries (livin' off 40z and eggs. what a life.)
I just want to curl up tonight with a book and read. Anne of Green Gables sounds lovely. and maybe a bottle of wine.... or another 40z. hm... or maybe I should take a break and not drink at all? HAH, good one carolyn. I mean, charlie. fuck. I may just grab a gin & tonic at cafe presse and make my way towards a 40 with Anne of Green Gables at my side and some T.I. playing in the background.
yep, sounds lovely. I hear it's going to snow tonight/weekend too. that may make driving a bit more precarious.... perhaps I could even get snowed in. that might be fun too, with all my girls and lots and lots of alcohol.
I have many things to do today. Such as... apply at Dominoes as a delievery girl, pay for rent, purchase a supply of contacts, purchase my textbooks (fuck), get groceries (livin' off 40z and eggs. what a life.)
I just want to curl up tonight with a book and read. Anne of Green Gables sounds lovely. and maybe a bottle of wine.... or another 40z. hm... or maybe I should take a break and not drink at all? HAH, good one carolyn. I mean, charlie. fuck. I may just grab a gin & tonic at cafe presse and make my way towards a 40 with Anne of Green Gables at my side and some T.I. playing in the background.
yep, sounds lovely. I hear it's going to snow tonight/weekend too. that may make driving a bit more precarious.... perhaps I could even get snowed in. that might be fun too, with all my girls and lots and lots of alcohol.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
drunkin rambilngs
my god i am drunk... fourht night in a row.
free write. free man. free life. be free, be free to love, be a free man
what the fuvk is it all about? i can get off a plane and be in a difeferent city, but what does it even moean? what would be the point to step off the plane, with your luggage in tow, kissing your loved oned on the midway, and be without? am i the only one that thinks about this?
am i a drunk fool? or, do i have reaonsoble backing? knowledgE? education? love? life? friendship? relationships? career? the funn thing, i don't give a fuck.
I'm sick of being the person that makes the first move. I'm done. I hate forcing myself to make something 'real' happen in my life. fuck you.
I'm done being someone that waits idly by. I fi want to jump off a plane, I might as well. If iw ant to go to New tyork City on a whim, might as well. If i wanted to travel to the moon, and sightsee the atmeposhere, why not? I'm a free rambling man. I'm no Charlie, but I'm Carolyn, and for right now, that's good enoguh. right?
love, charlie. I mean.... carolyn.
free write. free man. free life. be free, be free to love, be a free man
what the fuvk is it all about? i can get off a plane and be in a difeferent city, but what does it even moean? what would be the point to step off the plane, with your luggage in tow, kissing your loved oned on the midway, and be without? am i the only one that thinks about this?
am i a drunk fool? or, do i have reaonsoble backing? knowledgE? education? love? life? friendship? relationships? career? the funn thing, i don't give a fuck.
I'm sick of being the person that makes the first move. I'm done. I hate forcing myself to make something 'real' happen in my life. fuck you.
I'm done being someone that waits idly by. I fi want to jump off a plane, I might as well. If iw ant to go to New tyork City on a whim, might as well. If i wanted to travel to the moon, and sightsee the atmeposhere, why not? I'm a free rambling man. I'm no Charlie, but I'm Carolyn, and for right now, that's good enoguh. right?
love, charlie. I mean.... carolyn.
I can't explain it.
I am drunk for the fourth night in a row. I have nothing to say. make believe people, life's real, you are basically fucked. don't explain love to me.
"She suddenly felt incredibly exhausted. The weight of a million lives came crashing down on her shoulders. The fear of the dark, the palpable loneliness, it was too much for someone of her physique to deal with. Simply too much. Her scrawny body was the outcome of leading a double life for far too long. Oh boy, how awful it must be to be stuck inside her mind. Her deteriorating mind had become a waste. Another waste due to abject misery. Another brilliant mind lost to the Age of Aquarius. She was just another stray dog living in this crazy fucked up world. That was all she was certain of, and for that, she shivered under her blanket as she looked out at the snow that had suddenly begun falling sideways. That was an indicator that it was becoming harsher, falling more rapid than before; the temperature was dropping. As the world was losing heat, she was losing the battle… and she knew it. She had no other alternative but to curl up as if she were sixteen again and cry. Oh, how she cried that night. The tear ducts that hadn’t shed a tear in over a decade suddenly burst open. There was a crack in the dam.
That’s all it ever takes, just one little crack."
love, charlie
"She suddenly felt incredibly exhausted. The weight of a million lives came crashing down on her shoulders. The fear of the dark, the palpable loneliness, it was too much for someone of her physique to deal with. Simply too much. Her scrawny body was the outcome of leading a double life for far too long. Oh boy, how awful it must be to be stuck inside her mind. Her deteriorating mind had become a waste. Another waste due to abject misery. Another brilliant mind lost to the Age of Aquarius. She was just another stray dog living in this crazy fucked up world. That was all she was certain of, and for that, she shivered under her blanket as she looked out at the snow that had suddenly begun falling sideways. That was an indicator that it was becoming harsher, falling more rapid than before; the temperature was dropping. As the world was losing heat, she was losing the battle… and she knew it. She had no other alternative but to curl up as if she were sixteen again and cry. Oh, how she cried that night. The tear ducts that hadn’t shed a tear in over a decade suddenly burst open. There was a crack in the dam.
That’s all it ever takes, just one little crack."
love, charlie
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